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Comedian Jeff Allen
is as Funny in Print
as He is on Television

 


Book Cover
My Life as a Bystander:
For Better or Worse and Everything In Betwee
n


Book Author
Jeff Allen

Categories = Authors : Humor : Books

Story Ideas / Suggested Topics

Whether Jeff Allen is wondering why his son poured milk on the cat, or bewailing the challenges of getting a teenage boy to understand the importance of showering, he’s guaranteed to tickle your funny bone in My Life as a Bystander: For Better or Worse and Everything In Between. Here’s a sampling of Allen’s wisdom and wit:

On popsicles and kids:
“If I ever meet the man who came up with the idea for the variety pack of Popsicles (instead of one uniform color of harmony and love), I will beat him into a pulp. Whoever said variety is the spice of life did not have children. If you have more than one child, variety is the spice of aneurysms."

On marital communication:
“Wives --Just tell us what you want! We’re not good at word games. When you want us to take you out to dinner, don’t say, “What did I do to deserve all these ingrates?” Say, “I’d love to try out that new restaurant down the street. I hear their drive-through lane is really fast.”

On airplane travel:
“It seems ironic that my children and your children all ride school buses without seat belts, but by federal law, not only do we have to have them on jets, they have to be demonstrated. There is one consolation. If we ever die in a plane crash, and we fly on to the next life with a flaming seat strapped to our backside, the wait in line at the pearly gates won’t seem nearly so bad in the reclining position.”

On bus travel:
“In this litigious society, why haven’t they installed seat belts on buses? Are they figuring that after so many days on a bus, if the driver stops suddenly, the passengers will just stick to their seats anyway? I believe it’s referred to as the Human Velcro theory and has something to do with sweat and centrifugal force.”

On Halloween:
“I wasn’t raised a Christian, so the only moral issue that ever came up during Halloween was when my mother ate my Snickers bars… her story was that she was just checking my treats to make sure there weren’t any razor blades in any of them.”

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Press Release

Get ready for a laughter workout.

Long known as one of the funniest stand-up comedians in the business, Jeff Allen’s special brand of fun hits the printed page in My Life as a Bystander: For Better or Worse and Everything In Between (Broadman & Holman – May 1, 2005). Allen quips: “Most of us comedians will readily admit to our bystander ways. We stand on the sidelines and observe truth. We don’t get too involved in changing the world, because if the world were a perfect place, we’d be out of material.”

Allen has been dishing out humor for more than 20 years, rubbing shoulders with stars like Jerry Seinfeld, Barbara Mandrell, James Brown, and the Smothers Brothers. A regular on the Grand Ole Opry, he’s comfortable spinning his clean brand of comedy in venues ranging from casinos to corporations to churches. “Clean humor, if it’s good, works anywhere,” says Allen. He’s appeared on every U.S. cable comedy show, including VH1’s “Standup Spotlight.” His special brand of side-splitting, family-friendly fun earned him his own sitcom pilot, “Happy Wife, Happy Life,” for PAX TV.

It’s no laughing matter, however, that for the first 15 years of his career Allen’s comedy was fueled by drugs and alcohol. His fans dubbed the atheist from Chicago’s South Side, “Mr. Psycho,” as Allen’s comedy took on an angry, bitter edge. Soon, he couldn’t even get a gig delivering pizza. His marriage to Tami, a club waitress, teetered on the brink of divorce.

Desperate not to lose his wife and two children, Allen joined Alcoholics Anonymous and began putting his life back together. He found faith. He changed. “Having a relationship with Christ is all about peace,” he said. The angry, bitter edge was gone.

With a changed life came a new dimension in his comedy, as well as some new audiences. Allen has headlined twice at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. – something no other performer has been asked to do. It’s not difficult to figure out why he received an encore when you read Allen’s hilarious observations in My Life as a Bystander, including these:

On his lifestyle: “I am not a wealthy man. Red happens to be my color, my season,” as they say. However, my wife would like to have a few of the finer things in life: like a hot apple pie with her Big Mac.”

On chores: “The only reason I mow the grass is to look for golf balls.”

On leaving his underwear on the floor: “The habit was set when I was single and would simply do it as a time-saver. As the shorts succumbed to gravity during my walk to the shower, I could let them slide down and come to rest on the floor… by keeping them in the middle of the floor, I could also easily monitor my underwear inventory. This system worked flawlessly for years. Then I got married.”

On why he got into comedy: “I was going to bring about world peace through my humor…. OK, to be perfectly honest, I really got into comedy because I liked the hours. Nothing fits a bystander’s lifestyle more than working only one hour a day.”

Whether he’s bemoaning the hassles of marital communication with “my little bran muffin… the wife of my youth… my little sweet potato,” or chasing a naked toddler down the hall, he’ll leave you laughing and nodding your head over his side-splitting stories and wry observations on marriage, parenting, and getting older.

Sandwiched in between the humor, you’ll find Allen has discovered what really matters: Family. Friends. Faith.

"For the first time in my life, I am at peace in my own skin,” says Allen. "From that peace, I am able to do what I love to do – make people laugh. I’ve been a comic for more than 20 years, and right now I’m having the time of my life.”

And that’s no joke.

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Vital Stats

My Life as a Bystander:
For Better or Worse and Everything In Between

Publisher: Broadman & Holman Publishers
Release date: May 1, 2005
Paperback, 208 pages
ISBN: 0-8054-3166-7
SRP $12.99 U.S

Author's website:
http://www.jeffallencomedy.com

Media Rep's website:
http://www.plannedtvarts.com

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Biography

Who is Jeff Allen?

And how did a Former Atheist from the South Side of Chicago Headline Two National Prayer Breakfasts in Washington, D.C.?

Excellent questions!

Jeff Allen is one of the few comedians who can “kill ‘em” at a casino in Vegas and then bring down the house at a Baptist conference… doing the exact same act! He’s been doing comedy for more than 20 years, and his work has been seen on every cable comedy show in the U.S., including Comedy Central’s Premium Blend and VH1’s Standup Spotlight. Allen’s one-hour special, Happy Wife, Happy Life aired on the Odyssey Channel and Family Net. He’s a regular on the Grand Ole Opry, and performed at one of the 2005 Inaugural Galas.

Life wasn’t always full of laughter for Allen. At one point, depression and addiction had such a firm grip on his life that he couldn’t even get a job delivering pizza. His wife Tami, a former club waitress, threatened to leave him. It wasn’t until the divorce papers were in their hands, and they were on their way to the courthouse to file them that they agreed to give their marriage and family together one more chance. Jeff turned to Alcoholics Anonymous for help, and then found faith. “The single greatest gift I get from my relationship with Jesus is peace,” says Allen.

  • More exciting news about Allen:
  • He was featured at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen and the Montreal Just for Laughs International Comedy Festival, two of the most prestigious comedy venues in the world.
  • Allen was the featured performer at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C. – twice! No other performer has ever encored.
  • He’s a regular performer on Bill Gaither’s Homecoming Tour.
  • Allen performed for the armed forces in Bahrain in the Persian Gulf.
  • He’s co-hosted the Gospel Music Association’s Pre-Dove Awards.
  • His new video, Bananas, recently released.

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Articles / Reviews

2005 Christian Inaugural Gala
January 27, 2005

More than 800 guests attended TVC’s Christian Inaugural Gala on the evening of January 19, the day before President Bush was sworn in for a second term in office. So many wanted to attend this black-tie affair, there was a waiting list!

Several key Bush officials attended the event, including White House advisor Karl Rove; Ken Mehlman, the newly elected head of the Republican National Committee; White House advisor Tim Goeglein; and numerous members of Congress.

John Ashcroft was the keynote speaker and former Congressman J.C. Watts served as Master of Ceremonies.

Comedian Jeff Allen and recording artist Nicole C. Mullen were the entertainment for the evening.


Jeff Allen was more than a class clown in school—
he was downright obnoxious.

By Jessica Allen

“I was always in trouble,” recalled the 47-year-old professional comedian during a phone interview this week. “I don’t think the teachers who taught me would be surprised if they learned what I do now.”

But most who knew him then wouldn’t recognize Allen if they saw him perform now.

He is no longer the angry alcoholic who would joke about his wife on stage to the point that she would leave the room in tears. Instead, the Nashville resident is more thoughtful and spiritual. He became a born-again Christian seven years ago—and his acts focus more on family scenarios.

His favorite subject these days is raising teenagers: “Nowhere in the Bible does it mention how old the Devil was when he rejected God’s authority. My guess would be about 15.”

Allen’s venues also have changed. He now gets laughs at churches—where he also gives testimony about the difference God has made in his life.

“I never really had a dirty act. But I was an angry guy and having a relationship with Christ is all about peace,” said Allen, who will perform at 7:30 p.m. Friday at Mount Ararat Baptist Church in Stafford County.

Juan Rivera, pastor of adult ministries at Mount Ararat, said Allen’s clean act was the first thing he noticed when he reviewed the comedian’s tape.

“Most humor today is peppered with bad language and sexual innuendos,” Rivera said. “We wanted something that our families could attend.”

Although Allen loved to make people laugh, he said he didn’t exactly know how to get into the business when he started in 1978 in Chicago.

At the time, a 22-year-old Allen was tagging along with his brother Kirk’s band. He heard about the Comedy Cottage, a place where comedians open up for bands.

Allen, who suffered from stage fright, said he hung out at the place for three months before he got the courage on Thanksgiving Day to go on stage.

“Technically, I got drunk enough to go up,” he said. “They hated me. I didn’t know who was getting punished more, me or them.” Allen decided to go back the following Sunday, when the manager asked him to go on stage again. This time he needed to make sense, the manager told him.

Allen performed that night and never stopped.

He started working at clubs, colleges and casinos around the country during the 1980s.

But Allen said his acts were filled with anger, which earned him the nickname “Mr. Psycho.” He now describes his trashy jokes as “puke” and said he had become an alcoholic.

“I looked out and realized the audience wasn’t getting older, I was,” Allen said. “So I talked more about drinking because they were drinking, I was drinking.”

Allen quit drinking in 1987, attended Alcoholic Anonymous and read dozens of self-help books and philosophy searching for meaning in his life, he said.

But he continued to be depressed, he said.

He was traveling over 200 days a year, spending less time with his wife, Tami, and their two sons.

The marriage suffered to the point that he and his wife filed for divorce in 1995. They were 10 minutes away from the courthouse, papers in hand, when Tami decided to give it another chance, he said.

Allen, who didn’t believe in God at the time, accepted the Lord two years later.

“I was looking for an answer to why we are here,” he said. “It all led to Christ. I looked for 10 years until I couldn’t deny that he was the answer.”

Allen, whose oldest son is in the Army and youngest in high school, said his jokes still focus on family, but it’s more like “Bill Cosby’s comedy.”

He headlines his own national comedy tour, Jeff Allen and Friends: Funny People of Faith.

Allen received the 2002 Grady Nutt Humor Award, the most prestigious comedy award in the Christian market. He has also been featured in comedy specials on Showtime, HBO, VH1, Comedy Central and the Grand Ole Opry. Allen has also starred in his own one-hour cable-TV comedy special, “Happy Wife, Happy Life” for PAX.

He stopped doing night clubs and worked out a way to visit churches free of charge.

“Christ told his disciples to make disciples of all men,” Allen said. “I feel it’s my calling to meet others who are in their 40s who might be financially successful, but feel empty.”

Article Copyright © 2004
The Free Lance-Star Publishing Co. of Fredericksburg, Va.
http://fredericksburg.com/

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Video Clip 2

Jeff Allen performs a selection from his routine.

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   Photographs

Book Cover: My Life as a Bystander:
For Better or Worse and Everything In Between

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Jeff with Radio Personality (and Co-host of Fox TV's
Hannity and Colmes) Sean Hannity, on Tour
.
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Contact Info

Sharon Farnell
Managing Director, Faith Division
phone 212-593-6337
farnells@PlannedTVArts.com

Monique Mugnier
phone 212-715-1682
mugnierm@plannedtvarts.com

Planned Television Arts
1110 Second Ave.
New York, NY 10022

efax 866-628-6115

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